healthy marriage

Whose love?

Was God invited to the wedding  …


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… and then uninvited to the marriage?

argue 1

Human love is full of weakness and can’t sustain a healthy marriage; it will have a hard time staying committed.

In my marriage I knew when I had run out of human love with my husband, it was when I wanted to leave him.  My human love had an exit strategy; more commonly known as divorce.  Human love gives up, turns it’s back and abandons.  And why shouldn’t it?  Human love is temporary just like our lives here on earth and that‘s what makes human love risky and temperamental – not to be trusted.  Ahhh, but God’s love.  God’s love is trustworthy, steady and strong.

The presence of God’s love is so visible during the wedding ceremony.  But then a few years into a marriage there can be a shift to human love, the one that is largely based on the feelings from emotions.  Instead of the capacity of the heart growing to allow the bigness of God‘s love to flow through; it shrinks to that of a human love:  the love of self.

Yes, I had been loving self, for too long – not realizing what I had become.  But when I allowed God’s love through my heart, I saw much bigger dividends in my soul than the meagre ones I generated, that invariably diminished anyway.  Hard work?  Yes!  Humiliating work?  For sure!  But much more worth it in the long run.

God’s love in marriage

  • Understands that love is a command. (John 13:34-35)
  • Thinks of eternal life.  Continues to sows towards that end.
  • Seeks unity.  Christ will never give up on the church and marriage is to mirror this mystery. (Eph 5:32)

Human love in marriage

  • Thinks she can choose who to love, or stop showing love to.  Denies God’s choice as to who’s in His family.
  • Thinks only of temporal life.  Stops sowing into her husband’s life because of concern for self. (Phil 2:3-4)
  • Decides that he’s really not a brother after all, because if he was, he wouldn’t do the things that he does. (Rom 14:10)

Stripping It Back To Bare Bones

What kind of vessel are you?  When you are alone and it’s just you and God – What‘s the condition of your heart?  Has it atrophied from human love or is it swelling with God’s love pumping through?  Is it being stretched and expanded?