THE MINIMUM WAGE MENTALITY
This mentality agrees to become part of a marriage, and brings expectations of the wedding into the marriage – but soon finds out it’s not so much fun all the time. In fact, this marriage isn’t like a wedding – at all. It’s starting to require too much hard work: short-sighted
She increasingly thinks someone (usually her husband) owes her happiness. Being unable to see what she already has because of what she wants, she becomes unable to celebrate her own unique role as a wife because the grass is always greener … somewhere else: fleshly-focused
Her focus on self is blocking the bigger picture so she can’t see the marriage from 40000ft – God’s view. What He’s doing in both of them through the marriage. All that comes into view is what her husband is presently like — not what he could be like: near-sighted
At the heart of a minimum wage mentality, there’s conditional love.
It’s a kind of love that keeps score with checks and balances. It leans heavily on the Law – how it should be – and because of the double-standard that often accompanies legalism, it’s blind to a vision of success for the future. When I had a minimum wage mentality, nothing changed in our marriage – especially not me. Familiar to me were phrases like. What about my husband’s part? Why do I have to go first? How is that fair to me?
You can tell you might be stepping down into this mentality when you repeatedly hear: Me – My – I
THE MILLION DOLLAR MENTALITY
This mentality is aware that every marriage has two broken sinners, so there’s going to be good days and bad days. And sometimes even seasons that are gnarly and emotionally painful. She accepts the truth about trials in marriage and believes that God can bring healing and wholeness out of any circumstance – she takes God at His Word: faith
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. ~Rom 8:28
She understands that part of being a successful wife is fearlessness. She’s able to bring her best to that role knowing God always comes through – she’s confident in God’s timing: hope
Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. ~Col 3:23
She sees strength and merit in Christ’s example for marriage. How Jesus chose to please God rather than himself. Even when the disciples, in their confusion of not really understanding, tried to get him to go against His promise, He didn’t falter because of His love for God. She knows the source of this power is not her own, it belongs to God: love
We love each other because he loved us first. ~1 John 4:19
At the heart of the million dollar mentality, there’s unconditional love.
She leaves the scorekeeping of offences to God by leaning heavily on Grace. Her primary focus is eternal by letting the temporal events fall to the peripheral – and this changes everything. The higher grade of seed you plant in the soil of the marriage, the higher grade of harvest God reaps into the life of His daughter – you.
[Remember] this: he who sows sparingly and grudgingly will also reap sparingly and grudgingly, and he who sows generously [that blessings may come to someone] will also reap generously and with blessings. ~2 Cor 9:6
It’s definitely a process to cultivate the million dollar wife. Perhaps you’ve already seen some miserly minimum wage seeds that you’ve planted and have taken steps to move into the million dollar mindset – fantastic, keep up the good work!
He who finds a [true] MILLION DOLLAR wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.
But it gets rough. We know it does. When we find we’ve stepped down from that high calling: the call to be a million dollar wife, the role we agreed to on our wedding day…we’ve got to get back. If you’ve slipped away from being that good thing that God speaks about – your man needs you back. Remember,