controlling wife

My Husband’s Heart

… this world is passing away. ~1 Corinthians 7:31

If we get too caught up in the present world it’s easy to forget that even though we’re married, our husband’s hearts are merely on loan to us.  Both roles in marriage were created as temporary means specifically for earth. That means being a wife is not my end game.1

God gave me My husband’s heart in trust, not to own but to briefly hold. Even though I’m one flesh with him through marriage, God still owns his heart and knows best how to remake His creation.

The Invitation

God has invited me to witness as He changes and reshapes this man through our marriage.  Like the best cardiologist ever, God’s not inviting me into the operation to muck about with what I think needs to be changed – He’s not inviting me to take over the procedure, nor apprenticing me to do His job.

Instead, God’s invited me to help Him, through my role as a wife to one of His sons.  To be present and patient as my husband learns to live out of his renewed mind and heart.  It takes practice to walk out of the flesh with the Spirit on new legs of faith, so there will be trips and falls. My role is to help him through his recovery.

It’s a pretty cool thing to be a part of. God doesn’t need my help any more than He needed Ezekiel’s help with the vision of the dry bones.2  Instead of just telling Ezekiel about the prophecy like He did with so many others, He brought Ezekiel alongside to be a part of it – it was an invitation.  And God has invited me too; He’s invited me to witness His work.

Two Real Realities

We live in a world that we’re just passing through – we don’t belong here, and we won’t be here long.

Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them.  For this world as we know it will soon pass away. ~1 Corinthians 7:31

Sometimes, living in this present place makes it feel like our current experience is more real than our future destination.  When in fact, both are real…it’s just that one of them…is going to last much longer…than the other.  I know it sounds almost too sci-fi, but we really do have permanent residence in the alternate reality.3

Moving From Past To Future

Look back on a disaster or trial that happened ten years ago … five years ago … 6 months ago.  They don’t last.  When we consider the passage of time, our perspective can change about our current situation.

God never denies that life can get hard sometimes and He never says that marriage is going to be easy or effortless all the time!  But when our present reality seems too hard, He’s given us an aim for our focus:  The Future.  Instead of looking at the current, visible problems (allegedly) stemming from (only) your husband, look at what you can’t yet see: his healed heart.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen.  For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:17-18

As your husband’s wife, God has graciously chosen you to experience the greatest miracle that He’s going to do in this man – change his heart.  But you only get to witness your husband’s heart made whole by trusting God and waiting for Him to do it.

SOUL-utions

Don’t misconstrue your invitation to be a wife as an appointment to be the change agent in your husband; that’s the job of the Holy Spirit.

Do speak gratitude for what God has already done instead of complaining about what’s lacking – the parts that He is still working on.

 

 


NOTES:

  1.  Matthew 22:29-30
  2. Ezekiel 37
  3. Hebrews 11:13-17; 1 Peter 1:17; 1 Peter 2:11; Philippians 3:20-21
Advertisements

A Worthy Purpose

Limitless-Love

“True happiness is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” –Helen Keller

Have you defined your worthy purpose?

For me, being a wife is the most important role I fill while here on earth.  Submission to Darrell’s authority won’t be a dynamic in our relationship when we’re in heaven; but learning the humility to submit while on earth renews my mind and strengthens my faith.  This humility goes a long way towards shaping my inner person to be fit for eternity. (1 Cor 6:2-3)

God moves through my marriage in His limitless love and power to shape me into the unselfish daughter that He created me to be.  Being a part of marriage allows me to work towards something bigger than me.  Striving to make a positive difference in those closest to me diminishes my human selfishness by shrinking the desires of my flesh and moving me closer to the likeness of Christ.

Limitless love

There is no one else other than a husband who qualifies to fit in every category of relationship:

  • …have unfailing love for one another1 Peter 4:8
  • … shall love his brother also  – 1 John 4:20
  • …love your neighbour as yourself  – Mark 12:31
  • …no one has greater love […] than to give up his own life for his friends  – John 15:13

Pulling strings or manipulating to gain the advantage in our marriage (more commonly known as getting your own way) will only bring temporary satisfaction; not true happiness.  And does nothing to teach the kind of love that Jesus demonstrated for me to learn.

Marriage isn’t supposed to teach me how to have my own way – do my own thing, or impose my own rights.  But to daily learn how to lay those things down for a better and permanent way.

  • Marriage is God’s plan to grow me.
  • Marriage belongs to God; it’s His way and in His control.
  • Marriage is the best opportunity I have to grow up.  It gives me real life practice of disciplines that will renew my mind to think like Jesus.

worthy purpose