Marriage Triangle (Part 3)

Part 3 – Imitation

 

Rev 22

 

Ok.  So far I’ve shared that the traditional view of the marriage triangle didn’t really help us in our marriage.  In Part 1, I explored that each spouse is different in their growth and approach to God.  Because we are all wounded in different ways and depths, this makes our maturity in Christ not equal.  And in Part 2, it was the realization that the dynamics of my relationship with God changed considerably when I chose to get married.

When you are both getting along, there’s no need for counselling or instruction on how marriage should be – You are living it.  This makes complete sense: who needs directions when they aren’t lost?

But then, someone is offended.  Happily ever after is replaced with the strain from the offence creating stress and threatening the unity of the relationship.

Conflict will reveal how much of Christ has been factored in

A marriage that is truly alive with Christ will have God’s love flowing through it.  Otherwise it’s no different than any other marriage.  God’s love is a giving, a no holds barred, regardless of actions, full-out – love.  Remember in Part 2 how I discovered that logically, I can’t reciprocate directly to God, because I have nothing to offer Him.  And yet He still gives all of His love.

When God showed me to focus only on my own relationship with Him and that He would take care of me through Darrell, the same way He would take care of Darrell through me; it not only changed me forever, but also my view of marriage.

Whenever God talks about love, it’s never in a relational vacuum with Himself; but with an active relational voice that is giving.

Matthew 22:37-40 …love your neighbour

Romans 12:10 love one another

1 Peter 2:17 love the brotherhood

1 Peter 4:8love for one another

1 John 4:7-8love one another

1 John 4:11 love one another

1 John 4:19-21 loves God shall love his brother [believer] also

I don’t get to turn my back on my husband and love God at the same time.  When you choose to stop loving your husband, what you’ve actually done is stop your own love from being reciprocated to God.  You have become a taker only of God’s love- nothing is getting through you.

 blank RMP x

You love God by copying Him

God is a giver.  So to look like Him we must become givers who only focus on what we give into the marriage … not what we get from it.  Truly imitating God means you give without limits or strings attached.  As your husband’s wife you don’t concentrate on what kind of husband he is, but instead on the tremendous son of God that he will become as God loves him through you.

RMP 1

Therefore be imitators of God

[copy Him and follow His example],

as well-beloved children [imitate their father].

Ephesians 5:1


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4 comments

  1. This series was a lot of work for you, SR. I can see it. More so than the Schnarch one for me. As I have read through this series, I can see where your faith and relationship with God is what played the biggest part in your working out your dysfunctional communication issues back then. It wasn’t because you had ever read Passionate Marriage and knew about the crucible concept. You were not following the teachings from that book at the time. It just turned out that your actions illustrated the analysis found in that book. Good job all the way around.

    1. Thanks BD. It was amazing for me to see how well our actions fit into the crucible concept, pretty neat! This new paradigm of God’s love truly did flip my view of marriage upside down and I was clearly able to see and say, “Wow God, it REALLY isn’t about me at all!!” It was incredibly freeing from my flesh.

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