God sets the choice before me.
Even so the tongue is a little member, and it can boast of great things. See how much wood or how great a forest a tiny spark can set ablaze! –James 3:5
Look at your marriage. Imagine the best it could be – all the possibilities. Imagine what God wants it to be. Then move in that direction with your thoughts and words. We become co-workers with God when we follow His directions.
If our tongues claim great things, why not claim something positive and make that thing great? If a tiny spark can set a blaze, why not start a blaze about your husband in a positive direction?
Speaking negative doesn’t give God much to work with in your marriage, He gives life to the dead — not more death. He speaks of non-existent good things as if they already existed. (Romans 4:17) God says He knows the plans He has for us, plans for peace and not evil, plans to give us hope in the final outcome. (Jeremiah 29:11).
Negative words work against God and His plans.
For many years I didn’t really believe that my words had any power at all. But even if they did make a difference, that meant that I actually have control over Darrell’s life – and that didn‘t sound right either. I just didn’t understand how God was going to change him from an atheist to a believer. That was my mistake.
God hadn’t asked me to understand it – but just to believe it and say it. Look at Ezekiel 37, God doesn’t command Ezekiel to understand or explain how all those dead people are going to live. He asked him to only believe that He could, and for Ezekiel to verbalize this belief.
And He said to me, Son of man, can these bones live? And I answered, O Lord God, You know! -Ezekiel 37:3
What didn’t Ezekiel do? He didn’t respond with questions rooted in doubt and unbelief because of how dead the bones looked (Ezekiel 37:2). This was one of my pitfalls. I viewed Darrell (and our marriage) from sight instead of faith so my thoughts and words corresponded: It’s impossible. But, when I chose to believe, my words followed that belief! Then, impossible became possible!
For we walk by faith [we regulate our lives and conduct ourselves by our conviction or belief respecting man’s relationship to God and divine things, with trust and holy fervour; thus we walk] not by sight or appearance. -2 Corinthians 5:7
But Jesus looked at them and said, With men this is impossible, but all things are possible with God. -Matthew 19:26
What Changed? “I” changed. Our marriage became not merely about what I saw (or thought I saw) happening … to me: how I felt, what I thought … me, me, me … and more about Who God is and what He says about Himself.
My focus shifted from the problem
to the Power of the solution.