Lately, I have been, frequently, slipping into the ‘fray’ and Darrell has noticed; he always notices. But far be it from me to have a man tell me what I need; at least this is what I used to think.
Having been home schooling for almost 20 years and never having a real vacation, his gift to me is … time away. Darrell has tried numerous times over the years to get me to ‘leave’ the family for a vacation; guilt always held me back. Typically in all my reasoning and the back and forth emotional tug-of-war, it always boiled down to one question; the wrong one, “What kind of wife/mother wants to be away from her husband/kids?” I usually ended up in the state of having bull-dozed through the season of ragged-edge living until it passed. But does it ever really pass? Now I know … it doesn’t. We merely temporarily bury it; only to have it re-emerge … in spades.
We briefly discussed dates of departure and before I knew it, Darrell had purchased my return airline ticket to one of my very favourite destinations, the west coast … Vancouver Island. And further, to my surprise, he had booked me to be gone for two weeks! It seemed a little lengthy, but his reasoning was sound, “You need a week to unwind, and the second week to really be able enjoy yourself in that relaxation.” Not that my family is all that hard to manage, my girls are awesome. But the weight of the responsibility for other people (being a parent) as well as the responsibility for their education is still a weight nonetheless.
No responsibilites – nothing – zero – zilch – nil – nadda …. hmmmmmm.
There are two wonderful perks to Victoria, BC. First, it’s where our son and his fiancé live! So I get the pleasure and comfort of still being around family; without the responsibility.
And second, there is a Starbucks on almost EVERY corner! WIN/WIN. This fits, nicely, into my vacation plans of doing little to nothing, accept for catching up on some sorely missed reading. All of my reading up to now has been non-fiction, (parenting, homeschooling, self-help/Christian growth, historical research, herbs, medicine, marriage, relationships and the like) … sure, lots of information but not a lot of fun reading for decompression.
The time has arrived. My Kindle has been loaded up with a variety of Chick-lit. The Starbucks card has been loaded up. I’ve Googled the map of the lengthy and beautiful trail that is the Galloping Goose Regional Trail that snakes it’s way all over the island.
Darrell, my love, my best friend … thank you. You are awesome, on so many levels. Thank you for being patient with me and all the times I stubbornly refused to listen to your advice that I needed a break. Thank you for assuming full responsibility for everything that is my part of our life. Thank you for your constant encouragement that has enabled me to slip away. Thank you for freeing me to think only of myself during this time and for abundantly clarifying that it is not selfish to do so.