You can’t treat ME that way!

I remember when I used to hold my husband to a standard that wasn’t even real, never mind attainable even by a believer.  Oh I said that I didn’t, but in my heart it was a different story.

Whenever I was hurt or slighted (or even when we disagreed) it was a major catastrophe.  “This shouldn’t be happening.  A husband is not supposed to treat his wife this way.”

The mercy and forgiveness that I talked about did not reflect itself in how I treated him.  When we agreed everything was good.  However, it was a different story when our thoughts, opinions and ideas clashed.

My, my, my, what an awesome image for the love and forbearance of Christ.

However, when I look at the way Jesus responds to people.  When I really examine how He reciprocated to those who let Him down … the ones who were the closest to Him, the ones He should have been able to count on, I start to get some clues.  First, there was Judas (well, we all know his story).  Then, there was Peter (oh no Lord I will go anywhere, even to death) who, as soon as the heat got turned up, ran to save His own skin rather than be identified as someone who knew Jesus.  But just look how Jesus treated them.  Talk about a major sin towards you.  They gave the guy up for death … they abandoned Him.  And here’s the catch that we often overlook:  Jesus KNEW they would,  In fact, you’re about to make a run for it — saving your own skins and abandoning me. (John 16:32)

And yet, He still loved them!  He didn’t abandon them when they failed and sinned against Him.  He still wanted to face death for them.  He still wanted them to trust Him.  He still wanted them to share His deep peace!  WOW!

If only we could be more like Jesus when it comes to our husbands, I believe there would be a lot more success in marriage, a lot more oneness with our brothers in Christ, a lot more unity with the body of Christ as a whole.  And isn’t that the unity that Jesus came for? (John 17:11, 21, 22, 23)

And I had the audacity to think about Darrell, “Don’t you know who I am?  You can’t treat me that way.  I have rights you know.”

Clearly my heart needed an adjustment to really understand that holding my husband to a higher standard than I could even achieve was definitely not what Jesus did.



  1. Great analogies with Peter/Judas. And such a PERFECT way to show how we can be different – by following Jesus’ example!

    I call this kind of process ‘getting caught up in the “shoulds” ‘ . I love how you highlighted the fact that Jesus loves us even when we don’t do things the way we “should”!

    1. Yes, following His example is the best option. Admittedly, not always the easiest though. That’s probably why God coined it, “the narrow gate and path.” I like that Lori, “getting caught up in the ‘shoulds’ ” … how easy it is to slip into THAT mucky puddle!

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