I really struggle with the right guy/wrong guy mentality; I’ll tell you why. So often we hear, “my marriage failed because I married the wrong guy.” Because its popular culture thinking … to blame others rather than ourselves, ya know, ‘passing the buck’. Anytime I find a mainstream consensus I like to track it to see if I can find where it links back to; the Bible or the world.
Marrying the wrong guy also implies a mistake, which in turn implies that, ‘I better take care of this big mess myself, because even God won’t be able to fix it.’
God doesn’t say that about Himself though: He says He will work through any situation we find ourselves in, if we will just expect Him to, and give Him opportunity, we are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labour] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose. (Rom 8:28)
If you believe that God has truly called you and you really want to love His way; He expects you to wait for Him. He expects you to believe in His power and the integrity of His Word. When He states, all things, He means, ALL, things … including our husbands.
God was gracious enough to wait for me to walk through my rebellion and selfishness … my bad choices; He waited patiently until I was ready to hear Him and turn my heart in repentance. He didn’t berate me or call attention to my wrong choices with condemnation and a megaphone. He waited lovingly and offered me mercy.
If we are truly followers of Him and are truly being transformed into His likeness … shouldn’t we be giving out to others, this very mercy that we so willingly and happily accepted for ourselves. My actions back up the truth of what I believe; if I say that God is able, but then take matters into my own hands, I am saying one thing and doing another.
I think Zig Ziglar says it best:
I’ll be the first to admit that its possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.